Trust can mean many things, to me it means being able to know that I can tell a person anything and they will hold it to themselves only.  It also means that I know that person will never deliberately harm me; I can relax knowing I am safe with them.  Trust is essential to a good relationship or friendship; it is the same with a Dominant/Submissive relationship.

You have to know that you can trust your Master to do a number of things.  1. To honor the terms of your contract, 2. To respect your limits and when you safe word to stop at once, 3. To hold what you tell him to remain between you two only and most important 4. To know that you are safe with him.  He will not deliberately hurt you, any punishment is meant for learning purposes.

My Master surprised me by how loyally he honored the terms of our contract the first time I was sick during our time together.  He came to me at once and did not leave me but tended to my care as a devoted nurse.  As I watched him it occurred to me that he cared for me with the same care that I devote myself to him during playroom time.  

Learning that he cared for me with the same level of devotion touched me in ways I did not expect.  In most aspects of my life he is my main focus.  He is the one I seek to please with all my actions and he is the one whose opinions matters.  Is that wrong?  I know we are not the normal "relationship" but it feels like maybe we are headed for something more than just Master/Sub.  Maybe I am wrong but I am going to continue to devote myself to my Master fully in all that I am and all that I do.

I never planned to become a sub.  Being submissive was never the way I saw myself but after the way Master explained it to me I liked the idea.  Who doesn't want someone to lead you, someone to take care of you and someone to show you things you have never imagined.  That all appealed to me but I would be lying if I didn't mention Master's appeal.  

The first moment I laid eyes on him in a crowded bar he drew me in.  One of his first sentences to me was an order which I obeyed without thought.  There is something deep and dark about him that appeals to me in ways I never dreamed of.  I want to please him.  To hear him call me good girl makes me higher than ever before.  And the things he has talked of showing me....it all leaves me eager and wanting for more.

The contract initially almost scared me off but after talking through it with Master I see that I am the one in control.  I can set the limits.  Hard limits on the things that I will never ever consider trying and soft limits on the ones that I am willing to play around with but just one of the safe words from me and Master will stop at once.  So just a yellow or red from me and he will back off but there are things listed on that contract that intrigue me.  At first I was ashamed to admit that but behind closed doors I will let him show me those and see if I like them.

It's a dark world but there is something about it that makes me push the door open so I can creep inside.  I want to see what else there is......

Entry 1

What exactly is a sub and how does this whole story begin?

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